Friday, November 14, 2008 Invisible Fat Girl

It seems strange to me, but as I've gotten bigger (yes, older too), I've become harder to see. Not just by men, but by a lot more people than I thought possible. I once worked with a teeny, tiny girl who slammed into me on a daily basis. Like she thought she could walk right through me.
And at school! I'm walking through the doors of the science building at the local community college, work men milling about and a hose swings from the roof and bops me on my forehead. I kept, walking, unhurt, but not one person ( and I know it didn't go unnoticed) asked if I was ok or even giggled. Nadda. I've had doors slammed in my face, people trying to enter a door I'm trying to exit (hey - it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that only one of us is going to make it through the door and it will probably be me).
Really, not bitter at all. When I was skinny, I craved this anonyminty. I couldn't pump gas, buy socks or even read a newspaper in public without someone asking me something, men and women alike. Now, I'm in plain view, observing everything and everyone. It is amazing what one notices while being unnoticed.